Before Dagma’s 40th Birthday Dinner there were no expectations. Not so for me.

During our six years of courtship with a thousand miles between us; she in Spokane, Washington, as a single mom of five teenagers, and me in Carmel, California as a single dad of three children grown and on their own, we courted. Each month either she, or I, would take a weekend to visit the other. When she visited me, my rented studio near the ocean became a lover’s hideaway. When I visited her, it was most often taken as an opportunity to get more acquainted with her children through activities around her home, and for them to know more of me and what I could offer as enhancement to their lives and their home. For the most part, I was tolerated, utilized and even loved by them. (There is much more to this story, later.)

For several weeks I planned a getaway weekend adventure for Dagma’s 40th birthday at the historic Clark House mansion overlooking Hayden Lake in Idaho. I had arranged with the general manager and chef for a special menu and private table seating in their grand piano room looking through French doors toward the lake where we would enjoy background music played…and privacy.

After driving to Spokane, I picked up Dagma at her home having requested that she pack for the weekend. Our destination would be a surprise. The kids would be fine on their own. This was a time to let go of being a full-time mom working three jobs. A time for us as lovers to rest and indulge ourselves with a menu of sensual experiences.

When we arrived at the Clark House, we checked into our room that afforded us a private balcony to enjoy the view as I ran a bath for Dagma before we dressed for dinner. Waiting outside for the bath to run we got absorbed in laughter about something when we were interrupted with a pounding and yelling at our door inside. I ran into the room and opened the door to hysterical faces, “Your tub has overflowed.” When I opened the bathroom door a small wave of bubbly water poured into the room. I shut the water off, noticing that this old-fashioned tub had no spill drain. Yikes!!! I ran out the door into the hall and stood shocked for a moment at the top of the elegant staircase. Waves of water were cascading down the carpeted stairs into the foyer that had our table beautifully set for dinner. The chandelier was now a waterfall. (For just an instant I was aware of the beauty of falling water off crystal.) Management was yelling orders to the staff who were now taking paintings off the walls, moving the grand piano out of the room, rolling up carpets. Dagma and I joined the frenzy and helped move tables and chairs while calling out for directions and forgiveness. A few minutes later the generously consoling manager said, “Don’t worry about it. The place needed a cleaning”.

“What?”

“We just need to get everything put back in place because aside from your birthday dinner to be served, we have a wedding party showing up in half an hour in our main dining room. There’s no damage.”

Amazingly, there was no damage…to anything. But the air felt damp.

My heart was still racing. I looked up the staircase to see Dagma looking back at me…was that a smile on her face?

As I finished putting on my tux, Dagma waited for me at a table on the patio outside our dining room where the pace of waitstaff had changed. The music and comfortable ambiance had returned. That was the moment I photographed her. I asked myself, how is it possible for her face to display the composure of peacefulness under these circumstances? Maybe it’s because she’s already suffered considerable crises I her life. Maybe because she’s the mom of five wild teenagers, managing, by herself, a challenging life with no expectations? I opened the French doors to greet her with, “Would you like to join me for dinner? How are you doing?”

“Yes, I would, and never better.”

Dagma’s 40th Birthday Dinner was exceptional and indeed, memorable. I remained resolute in my wonder and appreciation of this woman.

Unbelievably, we returned to the Clark House the following year with open arms and considerable laughter from management and staff.